Overcoming Loneliness: A Guide to Cultivating Inner Connection
By Dr Mark Winwood, Principal Psychologist, Psychological Support Service
Ahead of Loneliness Awareness Week from 12th – 18th June 2023, I have been reflecting on the paradox of living in the era of constant connectivity with this leading to feelings of loneliness, especially when faced with online portrayals of perfect lives and relationships. Loneliness can be a formidable opponent, but with some understanding and self-compassion these feelings can be managed more effectively. Let’s not underestimate the impact of loneliness on both our mental and physical wellbeing – with 45% of the adult population reporting occasional or regular feelings of loneliness, that’s 25 million people. What does this mean to our wellbeing?
Health and wellbeing
Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer's disease, and even death. I am always struck by the evidence that suggests that perceived loneliness has the same detrimental impact on our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
What strategies might help?
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
First, it's important to recognise and validate your feelings. Admitting to feeling lonely can be tough, but it's a crucial first step. It allows you to understand that it's a common human experience and that there's no shame in feeling this way. It can be a signal, prompting you to make positive changes in your life.
2. Cultivate Self-Compassion
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a friend. It's about recognizing your worth, appreciating your journey, and forgiving your mistakes. Practice mindfulness and affirmations, and take care of your physical health. These actions can significantly bolster your mental well-being and resilience against loneliness.
3. Nurture Social Connections
Quality connections are not about the quantity but the depth and sincerity of relationships. Reach out to a loved one, an old friend, or even make new connections. Engage in meaningful conversations that foster emotional bonds. Participate in social activities or join clubs and organisations that align with your interests – this could be in your church/place of worship or sports club/gym. The sense of community can reduce feelings of being alone.
Simple ways to connect:
- Chat to colleagues about their weekend plans
- Smile at people you pass in the corridor
- Converse with the staff making your coffee at the coffee shop or serving you in the canteen
4. Seek Professional Help
Persistent feelings of loneliness might indicate deeper psychological issues like depression or anxiety. Don't hesitate to seek help from your GP, or for staff, you can contact our Psychological Support Service.
5. Find Fulfilment in Solitude
There is a significant difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Solitude can be a haven for self-reflection, creativity, and growth. Find activities you enjoy doing alone, such as reading, writing, painting, or even a simple walk in the park. Appreciate your own company and find fulfilment within yourself.
6. Volunteer or Contribute to the Community
Helping others can instil a sense of purpose and improve feelings of loneliness. Volunteer at local shelters, contribute to community projects, or offer to help someone in need. Acts of kindness can create meaningful connections and contribute to personal satisfaction.
7. Digital Detox
A temporary digital detox can be beneficial. Social media can sometimes accentuate feelings of loneliness through comparisons. Focus on real-life interactions and experiences.
Remember, it's okay to feel lonely sometimes. The goal isn't to eradicate loneliness entirely, but to manage it effectively when it comes. Be patient with yourself; overcoming loneliness takes time and practice. Most importantly, remember that you're not alone in your feelings of loneliness. Everyone experiences this to some degree. Reach out, connect, and be open to the endless possibilities of companionship and self-love.
The theme for this year’s Loneliness Awareness week is:
Connection matters. It's what makes us human
Whether it’s your regular barista, the friendly dog on your walk, or the shopkeeper down the road, everyday moments of connection matter. They allow us to make connections, feel happier and less lonely.
For Loneliness Awareness Week 2023, we're encouraging everyone to harness these moments of connection. Together, we can all feel less lonely.
#CONNECTIONMATTERS #LONELINESSAWARENESSWEEK